August 10, 2003

Rev. Rurel Ausley

Taming the Temper
Exodus 20:1-17; Matt. 5:21-22

1. Why do you think most Christians might think that they have never broken this commandment? What did Jesus do to this commandment that made us all guilty of the “spirit of the law”? (Matt.5:21-22) What happened to Cain when he got angry with Abel? (Genesis 4:5-8) What do you think might happen in our world if we were able to handle our anger? How might things in your life be different if you were more effective at handling your anger? Take a minute and list as many harmful consequences of anger as you can think of.

2. How can anger be positive as well as negative? In what ways does anger spur us to action? How might anger help us to survive? How might anger help us accomplish our goals? How might anger help us to obtain justice? Can you illustrate some well known uses of positive anger? (i.e., Mothers against Drunk Driving)

3. Why is it the negative anger that God is most concerned? How would you define selfish anger? Discuss the progression from "I want something" to "I didn't get it" to "It is terrible not to get what I want" to "you should not frustrate me" to "you are bad for frustrating me" to "bad people ought to be punished". How then does that show how we go from "pride" to "cruelty"? What does God say about negative anger? (Matt. 5:22; Rom.12:19) What does Proverbs say about being quick tempered? (Prov. 12:16; 14:29; Ecc. 7:9)

4. Look up these various Scriptures and discuss how anger has some very close first cousins. How are anger and pride related? (Prov. 21:24) Cruelty? (Prov. 27:3, 4) Evil speaking? (Eph. 4:31) Malice and blasphemy? (Col. 3:8) Strife and contention? (Prov. 29:22; Prov. 30:33)

5. As you begin to see this, it is no wonder that the Scriptures have so much to say about anger. What do we learn about anger from Prov.16:32 and Prov.19:11? What does the Bible warn us about concerning hot-tempered people? (Prov. 22:24) What does the Bible say about those who are able to turn away from their own anger? (Prov. 29:8)

6. What do you do to handle your anger? How have you learned to recognize when you are angry? Why are we angry when we do these things: hate, wound, damage, curse, despise, scorn, ridicule, tease, kid, get even, laugh at, shame, criticize, cut, fight, beat, offend, bully or irritate? When you find your actions are described by these words, why should we quit kidding ourselves about anger?

7. Let's look at some ways to handle anger. One way to handle anger is to deny it. What are the problems with denying our anger? Why does this method not solve anything? Another way to handle anger is to nurse it. What are the problems with nursing our anger? What happens eventually to this person? Another way to handle anger is to completely express it. What are the problems associated with giving full vent to our anger? What happens to those around us? To us? The last way to handle anger is to confess and resolve it! To whom should we confess our anger? God? Our self? Why is seeking to resolve our anger healthy? What productive things can come from resolving our anger? Where are you in these four methods? Where would you like to be? What changes might you need to make to be able to confess and resolve your anger?